Sometimes the big stuff in life is easier to do than the small stuff, isn’t it? Some days it’s infinitely easier to solve the world’s hardest Sudoku than to resist curling up on your favorite spot on the couch at home after work on a Friday. Sometimes staying in and hiding away from civilization is life’s best option. So before you walk out that door and an anonymous pedestrian informs you that you still have what looks like remnants of last night’s ice cream on your face, remember this: your houseplant would NEVER do that. If this isn’t enough of a deterrent, here’s 10 totally legitimate reasons staying in most definitely beats going out. This list could save your life.
Exactly that. Staying in could save your life, because falling down open and unattended manholes doesn’t happen in your kitchen does it? Let’s not be irresponsible with our lives.
Because in this technologically progressive 21st century, most basic human needs can now be met with the click of a button, and you’re not one to deny yourself the benefits of modern technology. Or lightning fast food delivery services.
Because in these unpredictable times, saving cash is smart. And how does one save cash? Obviously by staying in, but also by eating ice cream. Don’t think too hard on the rationale of this one; let’s just all agree it’s true somehow and move on.
Because while enjoying the delights of motion picture you’re also probably savoring a bowl of Phish Food and a generous helping of dumplings. Do you think this kind of comfort ever happens from outside the confines of your sofa? Not while lying horizontally in your sweatpants and dinosaur slippers it doesn’t.
Because out there, where the general public is seemingly living their best lives on Instagram, there’s a thing called FOMO. And we must avoid this modern day affliction as best we can.
Because your freezer is full of euphoria-inducing snackage, and those treats aren’t going to eat themselves.
Because a few years ago movie streaming services became ubiquitous, and since then humans have been shamelessly burrowing themselves in a comfy cocoon of blankets and avoidant defense mechanisms. It’s evolution, we mustn’t try to stop it.
Because your dog/cat/fish/hamster/guinea pig is lonely. Do them a favor and stay home.
Because sometimes we need to be left with the voices in our own heads for a minute. Preferably the ones that whisper "just one more spoonful."
Because only from the interior of your own abode can you confidently stride out into the middle of the living room, singing into the spoon with unapologetic fervor while the pint of Chocolate Fudge Brownie defrosts on the coffee table. A furniture audience never judges, a human one does.
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